Episodes
Tuesday Mar 28, 2017
How to Apologize Like You Mean It
Tuesday Mar 28, 2017
Tuesday Mar 28, 2017
Download the worksheet that goes with today's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-apologize-like-you-mean-it/
Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCTV.
Today we are talking about those moments where you messed up and you know you did and you have to apologize. We’re talking about how to apologize in a way it’ll actually be received really, well specifically in a relationship. One of the number one most important don’t ever do's is to say "I’m sorry your feelings are hurt" because in that moment if you did something and you need to apologize, when you say "I’m sorry your feelings are hurt", what you’re basically telling the other person is you’re not taking responsibility for whatever just happened, that hurt their feelings versus if you say, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings”.
In that moment instead of, "I’m sorry you’re hurt", it’s "I’m sorry I did something to hurt your feelings". In that moment you’re taking responsibility because the number 1 step for an apology is, you have to take responsibility for whatever just happened to help them in that moment understand that you are owning the fact that their feelings are hurt.
Now whenever I share this with people a lot of times they tell me something like, “but wait a minute, What if I didn’t do it? What if I didn’t hurt their feelings, what if they’re just being sensitive? What if it wasn’t my fault?” Well here is the big question, would you rather both be happy or would you rather be right? Because this is a big factor that a lot of people mess up on, and they would say, “I would rather be right and factual”.
It’s like “well great, then you deal with someone being unhappy in your life, you deal with the pain, the frustrations, the anger, the upset that’s going to come from this and how many days, weeks, and months it’s going to last again and again and again if you don’t handle it now, versus if you want to handle it right now at this moment. You can literally cap it, let it go away and it’ll never repeat, it’ll never return, it’ll never poke it’s little head out three months from now and say “remember that one time when you did that?”.
It’ll be gone it’ll be released from their nervous system. So if you want the ability to release it so it never comes back ... Number one is: You have to own it – Step number one: "I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
Number two: In that moment, you then have to dig deep and figure out what specifically hurt their feelings, you got to ask... “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings but I’d love to know what happened, what did I do? And if they go “Oh, that ,you know what you did!” in that moment go “ No please, I think I missed it, otherwise I would know what to say, but I’m sorry I hurt your feelings but I’m not sure what did it. I just to own the fact that I know I did it but what specifically did I do?” and help pinpoint the exact moment, the exact time, the exact word, the exact feeling, the exact look you gave him the exact thing you did or didn’t do that hurt their feelings.
And in that moment, again, just won it...don’t rebut, don’t try to say “but I didn’t mean that” don’t argue it, don’t justify it, don’t do anything except for own it. And say, "Sorry, wow, okay, I didn’t know that was it, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I said that or I did that specifically...will you forgive me?" And in that moment, if they go “Yeah fine , whatever, you’re forgiven, okay, just leave me alone.” in that moment say “No, I genuinely I would like to own this and I only hope that you would take a moment to actually release and forgive me and if you’re willing that,I’d appreciate it.”
And if it’s genuine, and you care, and it’s real in that moment you might allow them to finally release that little piece of anger, or frustration or hurt that hit them, and hopefully, if they can let it out and release it ...it’s gone! And you won’t ever have to do it again, but those are a couple of steps that might help when forgiving.
Now the other factor here is, remember you got to take ownership, you got to get specific and then you have to ask for forgiveness and make sure that it’s real and genuine. The final moment is after they said yes after they release it say “Hey can we wrap up real quick? For just one thing, I’d love to personally be able to share with you five things I love and appreciate about you, and if you’d be open too, I’d love to know maybe five things you love and appreciate about me.", and end with five things that you love and appreciate about them and them sharing with you as well.
And what happens is, in the moment you own the fact that their feelings are hurt , you find out what specifically that caused it and own that as well, you ask for forgiveness, and then you reconnect and rekindle the love and connection, and intimacy if it’s your intimate partner back into that relationship.
Even if it’s a business partner, you figure out that you own the fact that you hurt their feelings, you upset them, you ask what specifically did it, you ask for forgiveness for that specifically and then reconnect and say “You know what, the five things I love about you, as my business partner, I love and appreciate this, this, this, this and this.” and you rekindle that relationship and rebuild the bond.
So hopefully this is helpful. Download today’s worksheet and there are little tips there for you, have some fun with this, go heal some relationship, go get rid of some anger, go help other people release that so that you can finally have the peace and freedom in their life that they deserve.
Have fun with this and I hope to see you next week for another episode of JRCTV. Until then, have an amazing week.
Tuesday Mar 21, 2017
How to Let Go of the Past
Tuesday Mar 21, 2017
Tuesday Mar 21, 2017
Download the worksheet that goes with this week's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-let-go-of-the-past/
Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCtv.
Today we are talking about the physical, mental, emotional jail that you can lock yourself in by holding a grudge, by holding on to anger, by holding on to anything that you dislike about a person.
Something they did in the past, something you thought they might have done a meaning you’ve associated that causing you to be upset, angry, frustrated, jealous, any of these negative emotions and what it’s causing is literally you right there in there to be in pain.
And what’s wild about this I’ve heard it said being angry at someone or holding a grudge against someone is the equivalent of drinking poison and hoping for them to die in the process. It’s crazy and insane.
What’s wild about it is the whole concept of when you choose to let it go when you choose to release, to forgive, to finally et go of that anger, frustration, jealousy, upset, whatever it is that you’ve been holding on to.
The person that’s freed from the entire experience is you. It’s not them, it’s not the person you were angry with or upset about. And believe it or not, holding on to the anger, holding on to the frustration, the tension the jealousy, whatever it is that you’re holding on to they don’t feel any of that.
They don’t have the mess up the biochemistry of their body they don’t have their core to soul levels rise they don’t have their heart rate pick up speed, they don’t have their brain to kick in their fly or fight, they don’t have to deal with how you’re choosing to respond to your family, your co-workers, your partners, your friends your community your clients.
They’re the one not dealing with all the repercussion of this you are.
So I ask you, I beg of you…please make a decision by downloading today’s worksheet writing this up make a decision to first, identify the specific moment of thought of feeling or the specific person the situation, identify what it is that really, truly you’ve been holding on too so tight and ask yourself, why have I really hold on to this?
What are your reasons for choosing to hold on so tightly to this rope is burning to your hands causing all the pain in you? Ask yourself what would happen if I chose to let go of this and free yourself. From the rope that’s burning your hand from the thought that’s burning your mind, the emotions burning your heart. And ask yourself what freedom will this give you on the other side.
The freedom of not having to think about it ever again, the freedom of not having to feel it ever again, the freedom of not having to bring that emotional, mental, chemical cocktail in your body each day that is poisoning you inside out.
And finally, ask yourself why are you determined to let this go today. Not another day, not another moment, not another hour you will not allow this any longer to play a role in tearing you down and make a commitment today and act to move forward.
So download today’s worksheet make sure to go through it make that decision and please send us a note and let us know that you’ve done it so we can hold you accountable to freedom within yourself from that which has jailed you , and poisoned you and hurt you for so long but not another day not another not another moment.
So please make a decision today to finally cut it off once and for all and choose freedom, choose love, choose joy, choose happiness, choose clarity of mind and choose to really have the life that you desire on the surface not allowing other people to dictate how you’re feel each day based on soothing that happened a long time or short time ago.
So please download today’s worksheet take action, free yourself once and for all and I look forward to seeing you next week for another episode of JRCtv.
Until then have an amazing week.
Tuesday Mar 14, 2017
Why Oxytocin is Important!
Tuesday Mar 14, 2017
Tuesday Mar 14, 2017
Download the worksheet from today's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/why-oxytocin-is-important/
Hey there! Welcome back to another episode of JRCTV. Today we’re talking about the number one most important factor that can literally keep us alive as a small baby; that can reconnect us in the moments that we feel disconnected or slightly not together with the spouse.
It’s something that can calm us after travel or anytime that are let’s say cortisol or nerves or stress is high, can immediately bring that stress down and connect us back to the deepest, most connected part of ourselves.
What we’re talking about today is oxytocin or human touch. There’s something called failure to thrive syndrome, which is if you have a small baby and it is not connected to, it is not held within so long literally, it can actually die as an infant which is ridiculous and crazy. But it’s so true.
Not only is failure to thrive syndrome in a very small baby but it’s something that many times has been said when we travel, it spikes cortisol levels, which spikes chemical stress inside of our body, makes us tense, kicks us back into the fire flight mode as a human brain is concerned, which means we either attack the ones we love or we run away from a conversation moment.
And what’s wild and interesting in that is instead of fighting, instead of freaking out and running away from the distraction and craziness, what’s very interesting and what you can do immediately in that moment is after a long travel time, the first thing that you’re going to want to do is embrace another person.
Human touch, connect with them, hug them. Because in that moment, what starts to happen is literally you release massive amounts of oxytocin in your mind, your body, in your blood. And what it does is immediately lowers the cortisol levels and brings your stress down to allow you to reconnect with the logical part of your brain instead of getting caught up in the crazy fire flight moment.
So number 1, as babies we need that touch. Number 2, when we’re travelling a lot or when in high stress situations, you want lots of touch and connection to bring down those stress levels. And number 3, in a relationship – this is probably one of the most important ones that I found – is if in a moment you figure out that your partner, your spouse, your lover has a hidden moment where they’re tense, they’re caught off guard, their mind is going everywhere in all directions all at once, and you want to help ground them, to bring them back to this very moment and become present. One thing you can do is just reach out and touch them. And all of a sudden in that moment, you’re human touch, if you as a man reaching to a woman, will become the loudest thing in her world.
Meaning, we’re biologically made that when you reach out and touch another person, specifically a woman, what it will cause is her entire nervous system, her entire world, thoughts, emotions, feelings – everything going on – to immediately come to that one thing that’s touching her. The rest of the world will become silent, for just a moment about 30 seconds, for her to connect, figure out what is it that’s touching her, is it safe or not, and give it all her attention all at once in that very moment for about 30 seconds.
So gentleman, if you have something very important you want to share with the person you love, one thing you might want to do is first reach out and touch their hand, connect with them physically, and then share what it is that you’d like to share with them. Because in that sharing, they’ll now be able to hear it because everything else in their world will become silent so they can truly connect with what it is you want to share them with.
So 3 areas oxytocin is critical: number 1, failure to thrive in infant, holding your small ones. If you find the baby is stressed or tensed or crying, holding them, cuddling them, snuggling them allows that oxytocin to release, which allows them to reconnect and reground and feel comforted and loved and rebalance their stress.
Number 2, we talked about travel or high stressed situations, that’s including work, travel, adventure, anything we’re stressed and cortisol level spike up in that moment, connecting with another person, embracing them to allow their oxytocin to then come back into your system, to resettle you and connect you.
And finally, we talked about relationships, if you have something very important you want to share with your lover, first hold them. And in holding them and connecting with them, then share it so it becomes the loudest thing in that world in the moment.
I hope you use these tools and these thoughts in your life, in your business, in your health, in your relationships and really do some magic with them. If you want, grab a copy of this week’s download. We go over these 3 areas you can use it. We also give you a couple of other tips on a different hormone transmitter that can also show you how to get the maximum performance out of your mind, body and emotions.
So grab the download, have some fun with it, go use this. I look forward to seeing you next week for another episode of JRCTV.
Till then, have an amazing week. Bye.