How to Fail Your Way to Success

April 25, 2017

Download the worksheet that goes along with today episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-fail-your-way-to-success/

 

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCtv, this week we’re talking about how to fail your way to success. 

 

Now when talking about failure there’s three things that will teach you some of the most important lessons in life.  A hungry stomach, an empty wallet, and a broken heart.  Now I know that’s very motivating and exciting to start this week’s episode with but there’s truth in that.  If you’ve ever had a moment, I remember you know one time when I was in college I came home to my apartment and I checked the mail and I have a bunch of bills and I checked the bank account and there was a lot more bills than money in the bank account. 

 

And I remember being like “Oh no!” and it wasn’t like a little bit off, it was like $50 compared to $2,000 off.  It was like “oh” and there was no feasible income coming in the range these bills were due.  Now I remember literally like having my stomach turn upside down, butterflies in my chest being like, “Oh shoot”, I really messed this one up this month. 

 

And you know that will teach you a lesson like anything else, it’ll teach you how to prepare for the future.  It’ll teach you how to organize yourself, it’ll teach you how to really make sure you don’t do that again hopefully, not everyone learns a lesson the first time. Not only that, I remember there are times in my life where you know I hate to bring these memories up but I’m, sure you’ve had your time to where you had a heartbreak. 

 

You know I remember in high school crying myself to sleep and waking up still feeling sad because I broke up with a girlfriend at that time and it was pretty heartbreaking and sad at that time but I remember learning from that experience.  I’m trying to figure out you know, what happened, what did I really learned in that process?  How can I grow from this?  How can I improve the next time around and make sure it doesn’t hurt as bad that time or a way to make sure I am better prepared from what might occur. 

 

So there’s questions you can ask that can prepare you and we’re gonna put some of those in today’s download we wanna make sure you grab them and then finally, you know… a hungry stomach I know I’ve had days and times and luckily thank goodness, knock on wood I grew up in a very privileged position where both of my parents worked extremely hard in different ways and make sure that I never had nights where I’d go to bed hungry but I know all around the world there’s places where people do have that and then those nights where there are no food.

I remember one of my closest friends in San Diego he told me “You know some of the biggest lessons I learned is when I was 13 years old walking around town, dude a dollar would have changed my life on that day.” 

and I said, “What do you mean?”

he’s like, “I just want a burrito and I’m pretty sure I could get one in a store for a dollar and I just didn’t have a dollar”

and I said, “ What did you learn from it?”

and he said “ You know, I learned I had to be hungry in life”  (laughs)

and I said, “ No what does that really mean to you? “

and he said, “ I learned to be hungry enough, to work hard enough to never have a day in my life again that I’ll ever have to have that feeling in my stomach ever again and hopefully work hard enough that no one that I care about will have to have that feeling either.”

And I was like “Wow!”

 

So what’s interesting about this is looking at this moment of “failure” when things don’t work out, when things fall apart, when things aren’t going the way you want, there’s one key consistent element in all these stories that allow it to serve you instead of break you.  And the one key element is something that an author of the book called, MINDSET, her name is Carol Dweck, she’s a researcher and she found out, there’s something called a “growth mindset”. 

 

Now in today’s download, we’re gonna give you a bunch of key factors that a growth mindset has with.  We’ve talked about this before if you wanna hear a whole episode of this just Google “growth mindset Jairek Robbins and I’m sure other JRCTV episodes will pop up that we talked about it then and a growth mindset one factor that it believes is  “failure is part of the process”.

 

Failure in your relationship is part of the process.  Having times when it breaks down and it’s not what you imagined it would be is part of the process, you know having times in business where you go out and you give your best effort and didn’t work out, part of the process, you know having times in your health where you worked really hard and you don’t get the result you really want or you hurt yourself, ouch…failure… part of the process. 

 

And so what’s interesting is part of the process allow you to stay centered, to stay strong, and stay grounded when it happened and go… part of the process.  But you can’t just go part of the process and keep doing the same thing and keep having the same failure over and over again, that’s a definition of insanity.  Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result meaning if every time you go about doing it you always fail you need a new strategy. 

 

And so this is interesting because failure is part of the process but not failing at the same thing over and over again.  I remember I met a lady a long time ago, and she told me “Listen, sometimes when you run into a brick wall in life there’s usually three signals that life tries to send you before you actually have everything fall apart, the first that life send you is whisper, a little hint, a little soft intuition feeling that says hey you might need to update your strategy” and most people go… “ ahhh whatever “ and keep going.

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And eventually life takes a brick, and it just throws it at you and it says, “Hey! Update your strategy”  and you’re like "Awww, it kinda hurt I bet if I just keep going I bet it’ll work”  and some people keep letting it happen long enough that it burns everything down in your life.  What does that look like, your marriage falls apart, your business goes bankrupt, you go to the doctor and he says “Hey, you have so many days, weeks, or months to live.”  That’s life going “Hey! Attention! You need to update your strategy.”

 

That’s the extreme example.  I always tell people, listen to the whispers of destiny because they’re really really useful if you hear them.  And the key with this that you want to remember in listening for the whispers of destiny you wanna teach yourself to listen to your intuition.

 

Our friend Gabby Bernstein she’s been a guest in JRCtv she talks about listening to your inner guide and how to de-clutter your mind and emotions and the spiritual side of yourself to become more in tune with your intuition it’s a beautiful book she’d written on that process. 

 

So, with that in mind what you wanna do is you wanna be really in tune with your gut so that you hear the whispers when life throws them in your way and you can allow them to guide you through the process of when you need to update your strategy and when you need to stay persistent, the key here is though throughout the process whether it’s staying consistent and persistent or it’s updating the strategy, either way, there’s one truth to be told and one truth to be told is you need a growth mindset if you’re gonna claim that victory in the end.

 

So I highly recommend that go grab a copy of Carol Dweck’s, Mindset and I highly recommend to download the worksheet today the reason I point down is hopefully it’s on the blog here.  Download today’s worksheet and you wanna answer a handful of questions on there to help you figure out if you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset as well we give you a link to a website to Carol Dweck created on how to shift your mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset if you happened to be caught up in the fixed mindset.

 

Have fun with this, go apply it, share it with other people you know we have a philosophy of learn what it takes, live it and apply it yourself, and give it, pay it forward so make sure to pay this forward to friends and family who you believe that could benefit.  Have fun with this and I look forward to next week for another episode of JRCtv. Bye.

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Create a Deeper More Meaningful Relationship

April 18, 2017

Grab the worksheet that goes along with this week's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/create-a-deeper-more-meaningful-relationship/

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCTV.

 

Yes we are still in beautiful Vail, Colorado as you can see the beautiful, epic scenery behind us.  Today we’re talking about something that can literally be a making point or breaking point of any relationship you’re in. 

 

We’re gonna focus on intimate relationships because it’s important but you can use this concept for a business relationship, friendship, or you know just an acquaintance, or you can use it for even getting to know your kids or family better and someway shape or form and what we’re talking about is the ability to be deeply and profoundly curious about the person that you’re in a relationship with.  What does that mean? 

 

Well, what it means is you wanna get to know what is their blueprint, meaning their thoughts, their beliefs, their values, the organizing principle and pillars by which they live their life.  Here’s what’s wild, most of us are not really that aware consciously of our own belief system, our own organizing foundational principles, and pillars.  How do I know that? Because if I were to say what’s most important do you have in life? 

 

You might say?  “Okay, okay now you might come to that, what else is most important to you in life? Now if you are to take the one or two, here’s my question, when did you consciously decide that and what point in your life did you sit down and say, okay here’s all my options and everything I could value. 

 

I could value love, I could value spirituality, I could value God, I could value giving, I could value being successful, I could value being a good person, I could value making a difference, being strong, being powerful, I could value all kind of stuff, I’m going to choose this one.  When did you do that last?

 

Now for some of you, you might have done it but for most of you, I’m gonna say you never consciously made the decision.  You’re living by default.  Meaning you’re community, your friends, your family, where you grew up, who you hang up with, where you worked, a mentor, someone you look up to, told you something and you were “Oh yeah, that’s right”  and now you’re just living by default instead of by choice.

 

So right now what I want you  to do is first, download today’s worksheet we’re giving you a handful of questions on the majors of life something we talked about in our book ‘Live It! Achieve Success by Living with Purpose’, in chapter two and three we talked about the majors of life , health, emotions, relationships, spirituality, business, finances, your time management,  relationships, community, the major elements of life and in this worksheet today that we’re gonna give you on the blog jairekrobbins.com/blog,check out this blog, download the worksheet when you get it  it’s gonna have a couple of questions in each section not all of them but a couple to help you get a head start and it’s gonna help you to find what you really believe and what you really value in each of this major categories on life. 

 

Now I want you to start by first answering the questions yourself and then I want you to go to someone you care about, your significant other, your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends, your co-workers maybe even your business partner or associates possibly a client, someone you wanna get to know better and I want you to have them answer the questions as well. 

 

Then after they answer and after you answer the questions separately share them with each other I want you to become curious about what they believe that’s number step 1.  So step 1 is defining yourself.  Step 2 share with each other and then here’s step 3, I want to have you dig deep into why they believe that and I want you to help define when did they start believing that.

 

This will help you create a tighter bond with each other and so the very first step is to say, what do you value in health? And then they tell you and then you say why do you value that and let them explain and say, what moment of your life, what events, what situations? What significant emotional experiences caused you to believe that? 

 

And what will happen is you’ll start to get to know this person at a whole different level of depth because you’ll start to understand why they’ve chosen to believe certain core elements of their life certain core foundational beliefs of who they are you’ll start to learn why they’ve chosen that and what happened in their life that caused them to believe that or caused them to choose that. 

 

This is really important, it’ll create depth and connection in a whole new level for you both.  Now the reason it can make or break a relationship that’s how to make a relationship better, how can this break a relationship? Really simple if you don’t know why someone believes things they believe and you don’t know what caused them to believe that and you don’t know how they came to that conclusion and how long they’ve thought it? 

 

Could you imagine when butt heads on a concept and you have no empathy, or caring or understanding of how they came to that conclusion and you think just their wrong and they think you’re wrong this is where relationships, you butt head and things get hairy and falls apart. 

 

So instead take time to do this in advance, get to know them cause here’s what’s wild. We fall in love and get excited we think and assume that they believe what we believe and they value what we value and we’re just the same, it’s not true. As much as we wanna believe it, its drugs in your head, oxytocin is kicking in, dopamine is kicking in, you’re all excited and you start to assume stuff. Don’t assume, ask! Get to know them and get to know them with depth not just surface not just say, why do you believe that?

 

Okay good, but why do you believe that and what caused you what experiences happened in your life, health, emotions,  business, family, what moments occurred that caused you to form that belief , that experience … now you have more depth connection and empathy with that person. 

 

So have fun with today’s worksheet, download it, follow the steps:  first, figure out yourself, second have them do it, third share with each other fourth, ask them why or how did you come on that belief then dig deep and figure out what moment caused them to believe that and have fun getting to know each other at a whole different level. 

 

Have fun with this and I’ll see you next week for another episode of JRCTv.

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How to Stop Fear in its Tracks

April 11, 2017

Download the worksheet that goes with today's episode here: http://www.jairekrobbins.com/how-to-stop-fear-in-its-tracks/

 

Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCTV. 

 

As you can see we’re in beautiful Vail, Colorado check out that scenery back there pretty fantastic.  Today we’re talking about something that I learned when I was really little trying to learn how to snowboard.  I have an amazing father who believes the best way to break though fear is to feel the fear and do it anyways

 

And so when I was little kid I’ll tell you a quick story to set this off.  When I was little kid I remember going up to the top of the mountain with my dad cause his philosophy was the best way to teach your child how to turn on a snowboard is to take them to the steepest part of the mountain because you have to turn otherwise you roll down the hill. 

 

Let’s just say I rolled down the hill a few times because I was afraid of turning and when that fear ended up my body at that moment of my life I was not good at what I’m about to teach you.  At that moment of my life I cried, I gave up, and dad and I ended up at some pretty bad shouting matches at top of the mountain about; “I’m gonna go down the hill.” “No, I’m not.”

 

So, it’s an interesting memories here on the slopes but it also taught me something that later in life. Now I’ve learn to be used as an incredible asset. It’s something I wanna share with you.  The concept when fear takes over in your body we can measure this nowadays and the best way to measure if you are in a fearful place is based on your breathing pattern. 

 

I’ll tell you number one breath pattern that tells you that are in fearful state,

  1. You’re not breathing.  If you catch yourself holding your breath and thinking about everything that might go right or wrong in the next 10 minutes in your freaking about it, you’re in a fearful state.  You’re body’s going in a fight or flight.

 

  1. Really rapidly breathing, you’re like (panting) if you’re freaking out like that you’re having a panic attack and it feels like that on your breath obviously that’s putting you into a fearful state or an erratic state which is not gonna help you focus or feel strong or confident in that moment. You know there a few other patterns but those two are the main ones, if you’re holding your breath or if your breath pattern is out of control. 

 

 

Now, when that happens, you’re body’s going to fight or flight or a light level of shock and as that’s happening there are few things that are going on into your physical body.  Your muscles tighten; your body starts to break down fuel faster so you have energy, that you can propel yourself to either fight like heck or run like heck, it’s fight or flight

 

For men, we lose our peripheral vision, meaning we start to have tunnel vision and everything out here disappears so that we can laser focus on what we either you attack or run from.  Now the other thing that happens is our eyes really focus, they get really it’s not that it, but they start to focus really strongly so we can clearly see where we need to go or where we need to run from. 

 

And so it is wild on this concept is we lose our ability to use our executive functioning part of our brain which is the logical, decision-making part of our brain.  So, here’s what I’m gonna tell you to do, whenever you get in to a fearful state, I wish someone would have taught me this crying and sitting on my butt on top of the mountain back in the days, but I gotta tell you now so you can save yourself from the pain, the frustration, and those moments I’ve been through.

 

Whenever you feel yourself getting in to fearful state your breath patterns becomes erratic and then you start holding your breath and get really intense, all of a sudden you seem to not being able to think clearly and you’re kinda lost, your scattered in those moments is a signal that the very first thing you need to do is STOP.

 

STOP! Take a step back and literally assess the situation and by assessing the situation what you wanna do is you wanna train your brain to ask three questions:

 

Is this a normal problem?

Is this an abnormal problem?

Is this literally a life-threatening problem right now.

 

Now the reason why you wanna ask those three questions is because why on the world would you freak out on a normal problem? If it’s normal. If it’s meant to happen there’s no reason to freak out there’s no reason to have fear, there’s no reason to be upset. You know when I was a little kid I would have known this, I was like “hey falling down when trying to learn how to snow board is a normal problem.” Why would I freak out?

 

You know, if it’s abnormal meaning you’ve been snowboarding for 15 years and you still can’t figure out how to turn, that is an abnormal problem.  And if you’re trying to use that technique while back country snowboarding that is a life threatening problem. So I don’t have a life-threatening problem we were a normal blues greens and black runs so that was not life threatening. 

 

Number two, was it abnormal? No it was perfectly normal so there’s absolutely zero reason to freak out in that case if it’s a normal problem the next step is to reset your nervous system because when you’re in fight or flight you cannot logically think well enough to actually get through the challenge. 

 

So what do you have to do? Number one, you have to take 3 deep breaths that reset your nervous system, your central nervous system here, how you do that is really simple, do this with me… you’re gonna take a deep breath (inhale) and at the very top when you feel completely full you’re gonna do a little more (inhale) and then you’re gonna hold it for 3 seconds. 

 

So ready.. breathe in (inhale) one more (inhale) hold it (counting with fingers 1,2,3)and then all at once out into your mouth. And if you notice if you let it out you wanna drop your shoulders, drop your head and let out all the air at once. So let’s try it 3 in a row, real quick…

 

Ready, breath in (counting with fingers 1,2,3) a little bit more hold it (counting with fingers 1,2,3) all the way out… that’s one

 

One more time, (inhale counting with fingers 1,2,3) a little bit more hold it (counting with fingers 1,2,3) all the way out… that’s one

 

One more time, (inhale counting with fingers 1,2,3) a little bit more hold it (counting with fingers 1,2,3) all the way out… that’s one

 

Now it happens when you that if you’ve noticed a friend of mine who studied the breath work for three years taught me that he said it literally reset like pressing that reset button on an electronic device it resets your nervous system and allows you to get out of fight or flight and back to actual logical thinking that’s what we wanna get back to

 

Now that you’re in actual logical thought process you then wanna say “Okay, let me put together the next three moves in order to make progress, just as simple as that.”

So number one, step back and asses.. is this life normal, abnormal of life threatening?  If it’s normal no problem three deep breaths reset your nervous system and then say “Okay, what are the next three steps that have to happen now?” and then once you’ve figure out with the three things all you need to do immediately take action on number one and that simple little philosophy right there will help you take fear and instead of letting it push you and pull you around and leave you frozen in your tracks freaking out or crying like a little wuss on top of the mountain like I was that time of my life.

Instead, you can reset, re-calibrate organize your steps, lock on, take action and kick some butt.

 Have fun with this, use it and please pay it forward to other people who you know get stuck in a fearful state coz this is a real freedom you can give them and yourself by using this process. 

Also make sure to download today’s worksheet because it has the little formula typed up and a couple of questions that will help you identify normal, abnormal or life-threatening as well as what are the next three steps? 

 

You’re gonna have your form as a way to apply and get through it.  It also serves as a good back up option in case your brain gets hijacked when you’re in fight or flight and you can’t logically think through it, use the form… just follow the steps and boom it’ll get you right through it every time. 

 

Download today’s worksheet, have fun with it and I’ll see you next week for another episode of JRCTV.

 

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